Realize
by Nana Potato
Summary: She was so afraid of love, she didn't know it hit her. namiXku.romance.some drama.kinda songfic R


**Dis-thingy**: Not even Cid's Burgers belongs to me.

**Random:** I needed more NamiKu oneshots. Here's one that's _actually_ finished. Enjoy : D.

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My fingers drummed a familiar tune against the shiny top of the table. In it's glistening, I saw my head bob to the music flowing sweetly through the hidden speakers. I knew this song.

"_We're both looking for something we're afraid to find_—"

"Nami what I have told you about your singing? It's not your strong suit." Came that too-alluring, too-grown-up voice that my ears were attuned to. I automatically blushed, and he slid into our booth. His long silver hair moved just a breezily as he did—while it took me two tries to get into the booth without my skirt flying upward somehow.

"Shut-up, Riku." I pouted. I could still see that devilish smile on his face when I abruptly turned away from him.

"What song were you butchering anyway?" Riku asked as if it were the weather. Ass.

"Dunno—" I lied. I heard a knowing ding of Cid placing my steamy chili-cheese-fries on the counter top.

"Go get my order." I was supposed to be dieting—that Homecoming dress was a kill on my thighs already—but I couldn't't resist Cid's famous fries. Not when it had my name on it decorated in fancy ketchup.

"I just sat down, you get it." He protested with a wave of his hand.

"I'm lazy." I whined.

"We can see that, Nami."

"Ugh!" I slid out of the booth, partly expecting the unexpected, partly too annoyed with Riku to really care.

I was known to be an accident-prone I'll admit it. Whether I forgot to tie my shoes—for which I am almost always wearing flats—or if I just slid from a prank-banana peel and managed to launch an expensive German-chocolate three-top cake into the torso of the town's mayor. Name the incident, and I've done it thrice.

So when I not-so-breezily scooted out of my, our, traditional seating area, it was sort of unsurprising that my skirt flew up and revealed my new Victoria Secret underwear to Riku. Sadly, this ins't the lacy, so-sexy-men-must-rip-it-off-with-their-teeth type of underwear. Oh no, this was the _orange_ one I got from Kairi with the giant red words: _In Your Dreams_ on my crotch, and _Keep Dreamin'_ on my ass. Next thing I knew, Riku was biting the insides of his (precious) lips together in a failed attempt to hide whatever mirth wanted to taunt me. I knew instantly why some girls went commando when wearing their skirts. At least they'd have a better view than some bored girl's idea of a good birthday gift.

With a feign at nonchalance, I tugged on my skirt—a bit too hard though, so the waist of it rammed down my sides until it nearly revealed the rest of my underwear. Riku covered his eyes, an elbow resting on the table that was shaking. Bah-Jeezus, it was _not_ my day. It was bad enough I still had that morning-breath aftertaste in my mouth, but then this? In front of Riku? Of all people?

It's a long story, folks, one that involved me, my parents, a divorce, and Riku being my unbiased dairy because no one else understood. He'd been through the parent-troubles time and time again, and knew the pain I felt. At first he was just my boyfriend's cousin's friend. Then he was my _ex_-boyfriend's cousin's friend. Then finally, he was Riku Satou, my best friend.

Too bad that was it though. It'd be a dream if he were Riku Satou, my _boyfriend_.

I had no dignity left at the moment so I power-walked to get my order, after fixing the skirt, my head bowed in shameful embarrassment that I was used to. I sat down. I dared not to speak again and shoveled too many fries into my lip-glossed mouth. Without moving my gaze from the window of pedestrians outside, I could feel him burning into me. If Riku wasn't known to be straightforward, he would be crowned staring-King. His eyes, even as a beautiful aquamarine they are, could burn through metal.

Imagine what it does to a skull.

Randomly he used a slender finger to place it under my chin, I looked to him. Riku's eyes were a little lower than mine eyes. I made a strange guttural sound that was meant to sound like a questioning grumble. He gazed at me again, smirking.

"_Looking at you, holding my breath…"_

"You've got cheese running down your chin." _Oh_. I grabbed a napkin and rubbed fiercely at it, Riku rolled his eyes. I gulped.

"I guess even Cid's Burgers is affected by your love for accidental issues."

"Shut-up."

"Have I ever?"

"…" I stared down at the fries, seeing the unhealthy things within it and knowing that, if it wasn't for the knots in my stomach, I'd have devoured the dish before Cid even got it on a plate. I sighed.

"Let's go." Riku nodded, still a little confidant, and paid for my food. Even though I threatened to castrate him if he ever dared to again. My food, my money. It's a motto.

We strolled along Destiny Islands' picturesque streets, passing friends who would wave from their bikes or the elderly who wanted to thank me for the services I did. Another long story. Destiny Islands' was a small town, by some standards, but I like it that way. Sometimes. When I my parents were going through that nasty divorce, it didn't help that everyone knew my address, e-mail, and phone number and wanted to know if I needed help. No, I'd say, I can handle it. What a lie. Those past months were only filled nights screaming at my mother, and crying into Riku's chest for forever and a day.

_But I'm feeling right where I belong…._

I sighed again. In a twisted way, I missed those days. I missed spending nights at his house when mine was too hectic, eating Coco Puffs with Coke, playing Star SprinklesWars, and staying up all night spying on the peace loving people who were tied to that old tree everyone loved. But at least we've become good friends from that.

Friends….

Suddenly there was blaring honk that shook my rib cage and my heart. I turned to see a Food-4-Less truck barolling down our country road faster than needed. I didn't know if he was going to stop, I didn't even know that _I_ had stopped. I barely took notice of the sacred memories that imploded my brain in attempt to be my last thought. They all contained Riku, but I was too much of a deer-in-headlights to see the pattern. Then there was a shrilly, deep-voiced yell, and a harsh tug at the back of my sweater. I reeled back into something shaped, hard, warm. My head swam again from the realization that my heartbeat had ceased it's too-quick beat with the ringing in my ears.

I caught my breath, then I hid behind a curtain of friendly bangs. If it wasn't for Riku, who was giving me a very pissed off look, I would have been squashed Naminé smothered in gushing blood. We stayed very quiet, very still for an unknown length of time. I remained leaning onto him; I awaited his reprimanding.

"Naminé Bella Nepar," His lips were still pursed when he spoke. My full name could only mean trouble.

"What the _**hell**_ were you thinking that got you _so_ caught up that you didn't see the _big_, _red_ letters that said **DON'T WALK?!**" He inquired with furrowed brows. I saw the receding fear in his eyes, and I realized he was _scared_. For me. Riku was never scared…not even when he jumped that building to prove he could get to the other roof. I must've been imagining it. Must have.

_That world I see inside you, waiting to come to life…._

I thought about his question, and my eyes widened from the realization."...You." I mouthed but I couldn't't say. That would worry him further, and I had done enough damage today. I bowed my head again too see that his hands still remained hooked onto my waist. _Blush_. Now his fingers curled into my small ones, and we crossed the street.

"I can't trust you walk alone anymore." He muttered darkly. I let that comment go.

We entered a park after pointlessly walking for long enough--the silence slowly killing me--the same one the now victorious hippies used to protect. I saw the tree in the distance; it's dark bark and surrounding colorful vegetation of flowers calling me internally. That was a special tree, and I had to thank the peace-lovers for preserving its beauty.

I led him to the tree subconsciously. Riku followed, horribly mute. But he didn't have to say anything to _say_ something, you know? Still, the silence was unnerving.

On another note, I liked the way his big hand covered mine. I could feel it's simple warmth making my whole left side blaze.With a quick move, our butts were planted to the healthy green grass, our back resting against the bark. I hummed. My legs folded under me, and slowly, my body slipped next to Riku's. I squeaked when I bumped into him and he didn't even chuckle.

We sat in the scary type of quiet for a moment or so before some idiot threw a yellow Frisbee near my head. I jolted awake, and before I knew it, Riku had maneuvered just a little, and threw the disk back so hard the poor, stupid, man was knocked right in the forehead and hit the floor. I giggled madly, and Riku did his own laugh. It was his way of forgiving me. I liked his laugh—a kind of musical sound that me think of a big hug, and bright eyes.

And then it came. It flowed softly, like the breeze, it spun around my calm head until it's tune revealed itself to me. I jumped up and turned my head for its direction—for something. I wasn't aware that my mouth was wording the lyrics, but I loved this song.

"_I'm feeling alive, all over again…"_

"Naminé, is that the song?" Riku asked, softer that the music itself. I nearly melted when he whispered behind me. He was talking againg, so I nodded too much.

"First time by Lifehouse…I guess someone has a band nearby." I blushed when I had my little epiphany.

The song was _First Time_…and I just told _Riku_. It wasn't that hard to guess what it was about, either. Oh great, now he knew! My not-so-secret crush was revealed and now our friendship will be broken and he won't let me sleepover at his house anymore, and he'll stop calling me, and—!

"Want to dance?"

I choked. Oh My _GODS_, and frigging angels, did he just say if I wanted to _dance_?! My heart, and voice spluttered like an old car until I could put on the brakes. Okay. Breathe, you blonde idiot, breathe! I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, s-sure." My hand shook when it was again placed in his. So much for easy-going, I scolded. Riku slipped his arms behind me; I didn't notice how he was pulling me so close. I tucked a lock of gold hair before letting my hand dangle over his broad shoulders.

Gods, his shirt was so _formfitting_…and those jeans…why hadn't I noticed these things before?

He smelled of the ocean, the kind that when you wake up and you can hear the roar of sea out of your window, and you have the urge to sit on your porch and watch the waves roll back and forth mesmorizingly. Yes, Riku smelt of that type of ocean.

For now it was simple swaying side to side, close enough though that his breath was stirring my hair. This was so _right_. If not, cheesy. It took a while, but my registered the feel of his strong arms holding my securely to him, and his chin gently on the top of my head. I was loving this so much. Even though a part of me felt really stupid, knowing that the old couples were stopping to point and giggle and being reminded about past-lovers. But I didn't care. If I had known that Riku would dance with me to every song I sang, my throat would be red, sore, from over-usage.

"...I," Riku started once the silence got to him to. "...I thought...I thought I was going to lose you today." He shifted till his cheek was against mine. I swore his visage was damp, wet. I gasped, trying to cover it with a shaky hand. I finally grasped his mood, his emotions that he had bottled up within our lasting stillness of the quiet. That was horror I had seen in his eyes earlier. Serious, mind-numbing, fear for my possible end in existence. I was racked with guilt because I had put him through such terror. Riku cared so much, and all I did was go near suicide. Some friend I was, scaring him to death.

No wonder his grip was so tight, he was frightened I would dissapear and he would be left alone. But...he wouldn't be completely alone. Riku had family, had friends. I was just another face in his metaphoric crowd. Yet he was much more to me. Riku was just so…so everything. He was joy, he was comfort, he was compassion, he was a best friend, he was—

_I—_was in _love_ with _Riku Satou_.

And then I started to cry partly because I still getting over the fact that my life was threatened not-to long ago, partly because I couldn't believe it. It was so obvious, and yet…yet I couldn't't see it. Why did it take Lifehouse to tell me that? I shook my head. I knew it, in the recesses of my mind where I was too afraid that if I did become Riku's…_lover_…that we might have fights, and end up just like my parents: angry, and hating one another. I couldn't deal if we were like that. We had to remain happy, for me, for us.

Riku pulled back to tilt his head at me. I could see it now: the held back desire, the aqua fire that wanted me to be his so much. I was a blonde for not seeing it. But there it was—a beacon for when his love was returned.

Hard to believe we were only teenagers.

I slipped out of my flats, Riku still looking puzzled. My feet touched the warm grass momentarily before tiptoeing unto Riku's large sneakers. My hands were placed on both sides of his face; I pushed myself up, and kissed him.

Crushing but soft. Sweet but passionate. New but…thrilling. Kissing Riku was not like my past ones. I've had my fair share of experience, as he had. But never were they like that. They didn't make my skin inflame when he squeezed my frame against his harder. They didn't cause me dizziness or that slight buzz in my head. And none of them, ever, made me cry.

We pulled apart after the point was made. My crystal tears fell off my face; I grinned so wide it hurt, but I couldn't't help it. Love…for the first time…no words described it.

Riku looked no longer quizzical, but out-of-character: elated, overjoyed, _completed_. His smile was not a smirk. His eyes were not sly in overconfidence. There was reality in his orbs. I held my breath. Now that I knew, we knew, would everything be the same? I hoped to the gods and angels it would be.

_We're crashing into the unknown, we're lost in this…_

I stepped off his shoes; we lay down and my head on his chest. His heartbeat wasn't calm like his usual demeanor—it was pounding, even as I pressed my ear to it. His piano-fingers stroked my cheeks until my tears finally ceased, then they toyed with my hair, nails tickling my shoulder. My arm was draped across his stomach, and our legs were tangled in a funny way.

_But it feels like home. _

"Naminé?" Riku asked so low I almost didn't hear him. My ears lifted like a pet dog.

"Hm?"

"…I love you." I thought his deep voice had rose an octave or broke, but maybe it was just me. I shifted so I hovered over him a bit. Tropical eyes washed over me with a new source. I traced his cheekbone, jaw line. My lips curved up, and my heart was heard in my ears. In a good way.

"I love you too." And I leaned down to kiss him again, my hair a golden curtain on my right side.

_Like being in love, to feel for the first time.__

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_**Random: **I spent like, 30 mins writing this, and a little over an hour revising, and editing. But still, my idea--realizing your in love--remained, and I think I did a nice job with incorporating some of the lyrics, and stuff.

Review if you think so to.

PEACE!--randomness: knee-deep in the clouds--


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